The 50 Best Funny Puns And Punny Memes

Need some good puns and jokes for kids? Look no further, browse this hilarious collection of funny puns and jokes for kids. Share with your friends on Social Media.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
 


Never trust atoms, they make up everything.
 


After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
 


When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
 


Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.


I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.


What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block


What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.


To learn about paranoids, follow them around.


Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.


When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart


A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
 



Whiteboards are remarkable.
 



What would you get if you crossed a pigeon and a general? A military coo.
 



Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.
 



Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
 



Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
 



Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.


What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.
 



What grows up while growing down? A goose.
 



What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.


What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? — Aye matey!
 



The Irish government is wealthy because its capital is always Dublin.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
 



Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 



In plumbing, a straight flush is better than a full house
 



A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 



What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car? A red carnation.
 



What’s the definition of a will? – Come on, it’s a dead giveaway!
 



What do you call a Spanish pig? Porque.
 



The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
 



Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
 



I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction
 



“Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.” “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”
 



Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
 



Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.
 



Tried to play my shoehorn – all I got was footnotes
 



What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can’t venom all.
 



Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
 



To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
 



When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
 



What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
 



When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
 



Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
 



How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
 



How do you throw a space party? You planet.

People who say they suffer from constipation are full of crap.
 



Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
 



If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
 



What did the chimpanzee say when his sister had a baby? Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
 



Driving on so many turnpikes was taking its toll.
 



I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
 



Try Milk of Amnesia – when you need to forget
 



He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
 



So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world
 



The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice

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