50 Best Funny Dog Jokes

Browse this cute and funny collection of dog jokes. Sure, some of these jokes are corny but kids will love them! Enjoy.

What do you call a dog in the winter?
A chilli dog.
 



What was the special offer at the pet store this week? 
Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea 
 



Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs!
 



Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in squares!
 



What did the dalmatian say after finishing his meal?
That hit the spot.
 



Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
 



Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?
A New Yorkie!
 



Which dog breed does Dracula love the most?
Blood hounds!
 



What do you call a dog with a fever? 
A hot dog.
 



Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?
It was a shih tzu 
 



What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion? 
A terrified postman!


What breed of dog loves to take a bath?
A shampoodle.

What do you call a dog that’s been out in the cold?
A pupsicle!
 



What kind of dog chases anything red? 
A bull dog!
 



What kind of dog keeps the best time?
A watchdog.
 



What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah? 
A dog that chases cars – and catches them! 
 


What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni pizza!
 



Why do dogs wag their tails?
Because no-one else will do it for them
 



What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?
A greyhound buzz!
 



What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
Rough! Rough!
 



What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
 



How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard?
Put it in your back yard.
 



What did the dog say to the flea?
Quit bugging me!
 



Why are dogs such bad dancers?
They have two left feet.
 



Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?
Because “Frost” bites!
 



What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?
A golden receiver!
 



What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school? 
Her pet-degree!

What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-tastrophy!
 



What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet? 
A thousand dogs.
 



What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones!
 



Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to!
 



What is more amazing than a talking dog?
A spelling bee.
 



What’s a dog’s favourite flower?
Anything in your garden.
 



What kind of dog can jump as high as a tall building?
Any kind. A building can’t jump!
 



What kind of dog wears contact lenses?
A cock-eyed spaniel.
 



My dog can do magic tricks.
It’s a labracadabrador.
 



What’s a dog’s perfect job?
Bark-eology.
 



What do you call batman’s dog? 
A Bat Terrier
 



Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus?
He stole the show.
 



What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684? 
The wrong answer.
 



Where do eskimos train their dogs?
In the mushroom.

Why is it called a “litter” of puppies?
Because they mess up the whole house!
 



Why did the dachshund bite the woman’s ankle?
Because he was short and he couldn’t reach any higher!
 



What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller with a hyena?
I don’t know but if it laughs I’ll join in!
 



What do you do if a dog swallows your pen?
Use a pencil instead.
 



What do you get if you cross a dog with a computer?
A computer with lots of bites.
 



What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
Petticoat.
 



What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You can step in a poodle!
 



Where do you find a dog with no legs? 
Same place you left him!
 



What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
They get their masters.
 



How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied!
 



Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?
Cats can’t drive!
 



Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer!
 



What do you call a dog with a surround system?
A sub-woofer.
 



Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.

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