50 Best Funny Sayings

50 Really Funny Sayings – Guaranteed to make you laugh, as least a little! Share these funny sayings with your friends on social media

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
 



No thanks, I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food pyramid to become a vegetarian.
 



Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff.
 



Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can’t.
 



I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. – Rodney Dangerfield
 



My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.




My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.
 



If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?




Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver.

 


I think the problem with people like that is that they’re so stupid they don’t know how stupid they are. – John Cleese
 

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