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Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well

Q: What type of doctor prescribes Coke and 7-up for a living?
A: A Poptometrist!

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: I don't know, but something between us smells.

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.



How People Were Born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Super Bowl Seat
A gentleman has 50 yard line Super Bowl tickets. When he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there. "No, it is empty. " "That is incredible, who in their right mind would have a seat for the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?" The second man replied, "Well, the seat belongs to me actually. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967. " "Oh, I am sorry, that is terrible. But could you not find someone else. A friend, relative, or a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shook his head. "No, They are all at the funeral."

Bear Sighting
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 30 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy immediately drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, "What are you thinking? Sneakers will not help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to out run the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to out run you."

Very Important
A well respected local surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was watching the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor answered it and heard a fellow doctor colleague on the other end. "We need a fourth for our poker game tonight" said the friend. "Very well. I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"

7 Miles A Day
Overweight American went to see his family doctor for some weight loss advice. The doctor advised that the best medicine was to run seven miles a day for forty days. The doctor promised, that would help him lose as much as fifteen pounds. The American followed the doctor's advice, and, after forty days, he had indeed lost the fifteen pounds. He phoned the doctor and thanked him very much for the excellent advice which produced his weight loss results. At the end of the conversation, he asked one last question: "How do I get home, now that I am 280 miles away from home?"



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