You heard the rumor going
around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you
know how to drive this thing?"
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one
A nurse told me, "Sorry for the wait!" I replied, "It's
alright, I'm patient."
I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
To the guy who invented the zero… Thanks for nothing.
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. Don't
worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
Why did the octopus beat a shark in a fight?
Well, he was well armed!
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind it's tearable.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.