Remember Ladies, your body is a temple, not a theme park.
 


I bet all the other animals in the animal kingdom hate dogs because they get credit for the most popular sexual position ever!
 


It’s Saturday and I’m single. I should be getting pounded and pleasured.
 


I like to think that the rapture did come, but Macho Man Randy Savage was the only one who proved worthy.
 


coming down with fridayitis
 


Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
 


Thanks to the new alcoholic energy drinks, instead of the walk of shame, you can do the sprint of shame. 
 


I recently saved a ton of money on child support by switching to condoms…
 


I like my women like I like my whiskey bottles: Tops off, bottoms up.
 


The longer the title the less important the job.
 

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