Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

kind of a big deal. People know him

gonna turn this car right around if you don’t start behaving!

Malcolm is dyslexic which means never having to say that you’re yrros.

is NOT the father!

used to be schizophrenic but now both of us are alright

is a cool dad, that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face


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