My mom thinks WTF means “wow thats fantastic” .. Today i texted her: mom i got and A on my English test my Mom said: WTF see you at dinner
 


I need a tall glass of Vodka for my thirst, a Valium for my Nerves, and a couple of FUCKIDOL pills for everything else.
 


Hey, since your back there talking about me , do you mind telling me how good my ass looks in these jeans.
 


is confused… Don’t ask me why, I don’t know either. That’s why I’m confused.
 


One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
 


Save a vegetable, each a doughnut!

A fart is the cry of a jailed turd
 


Monday is coming,RUUUUNNNNNNN!
 


everybody sounds Asian when they sneeze .
 


If life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
 

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