My mom thinks WTF means “wow thats fantastic” .. Today i texted her: mom i got and A on my English test my Mom said: WTF see you at dinner

I need a tall glass of Vodka for my thirst, a Valium for my Nerves, and a couple of FUCKIDOL pills for everything else.

Hey, since your back there talking about me , do you mind telling me how good my ass looks in these jeans.

is confused… Don’t ask me why, I don’t know either. That’s why I’m confused.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.

Save a vegetable, each a doughnut!

A fart is the cry of a jailed turd

Monday is coming,RUUUUNNNNNNN!

everybody sounds Asian when they sneeze .

If life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.


<<< | Previous | ... | 5 | 6 |7 | 8 | 9 | ... | Next | >>>